I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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