she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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