you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I AM VODKA MAN
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
