i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
