So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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