Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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