If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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