is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I think people are normalizing furries
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize