i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
