she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
