Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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