The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
