yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
