He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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