when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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