Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Randomize
