If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
