in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
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