Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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