Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
