everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
