you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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