all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
