...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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