You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
