I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
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