I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
