i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
