Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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