Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I pour the whiskey from now on
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
