Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Oh god it's open bar.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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