Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
