That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He better not be in your backpack
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
