It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize