Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
