Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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