Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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