i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
