i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
