Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
