I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
