I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
