Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
