you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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