so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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