Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just had sex bonerless
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
