i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
