so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
