It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
