Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
