I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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