I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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