Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
