dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
