Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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