so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
