Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
