btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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