Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
